Toying with emotions

 Pity how a few people don’t fathom the emotional notions in real life. They pretend that they do but actually they are a cipher in understanding them when their true application comes into play. Some people are way too impatient to actually comprehend it and they end up playing the wrong balls while there are some who are really not concerned about it at the outset of their emotional outbursts albeit they regret it all in the end. 

I wish I could make them comprehend what passion is. I wish they could all feel the heart beat, wish they could all feel the pain (the 'real pain' which is existent in your heart and it hurts, mark my words) once you crave for something, wish they could all share each other’s feelings and could rejuvenate at their joy.

I abominate those who are too dumb to think about all the factors, a feeling entails in a living. I am sick of those who fool around manifesting fake love, power and balls. While people rejoice thinking that they’ve figured life out, they end up disheartened as we all know life pretty much f**ks up everyone. The emotions are certainly not a plaything and life’s not a cake.

We gotta learn to live, gotta live like diehards while the world’d give you reasons not to, gotta be passionate at everything you do, gotta show your balls where competition is, gotta love your loved ones to bits and gotta show an unmatched zeal in the things you love.

While everyone in the world wouldn't understand it, you could only wish them to have the vision to perceive how unreasonably you fought and how madly you loved. Just patiently wish they'd get your eyes one day!

The fiascos of my past

When I look back at the life I’ve lived so far and when I circle those fiascos that I have come across so far, I am forced to think - what if I had an opportunity to rectify all those mistakes I made in the past? What if I could go back in time and metamorphose all those moments of pain and suffering into ecstasy? What if every debacle could be refurbished to shine like success? What if I could take all the excruciating moments, I encountered, away and turn them into a sweet and lovely symphony of life. What if I could eschew every such moment from happening in the first place itself?

 Huh......how chimerical!

If I could do all that then how bogus my life might appear?

Adventure comes from the feeling of fear, the fear of failure, the feeling that entails risk in it and the feeling that depicts that you would still opt for that life knowing how bad and ugly things could possibly go and yet you go along with the flow trusting your leap of faith. 

I believe if you eliminated every failure that you came across in your life then there would be no point in succeeding. You wouldn’t know how ugly things are and how bad your life might end up. You would take life threatening risks every now and then but there would be no thrill and excitement in that as you’d have the surety of success eventually. Fear is a great notion that has been put inside every living being, the absence of which might cause them, without caring for their lives, to devour each other’s soul apart. Fear is one of life’s ultimate truths which share its place with death. It is good to be afraid otherwise everyone would end up dead.

If you haven’t tasted failure in your life then you wouldn’t know the sweet taste of success. 

However lies there still the feeling, that tells me maybe I could make my life far better if only I had a chance to go back and improve certain things, the things for which I’d never have to feel regretful again for the rest of my life, the things that might solve great matters of concern in the present, the things that could straighten up the intricate situations in the long run and might make the outset of the happy days to stay successful forever.

I can’t change the past, now can I?

The frowned upon 'wrath'

I lose my temper a lot. Every little discussion or any debate on any topic of any kind and I fume at my opponent formidably. I never comprehend how easily I lose it. Is it that hard to stay calm, serene and focused? Nowadays indignation gets me every time I face a retort. Albeit getting angry becomes justified most of the times, but as I brood now, wrath is not the solution whenever I endeavour to set matters right. People get hurt and in the long run, brand me depending on my evanescent mood whilst I triumph at my swearing.

It has simply become impossible for me to keep things cool around. I regret it when I look in the mirror at my furrowed brows later and think about what made me to lose my calm. Weren’t there other possible ways of handling the matter at hand? Couldn’t I have possibly come up with a solution to handle the problem concerned? I ain’t that lame eh!

           While all the billion solutions pop up after the aftermath, it is certainly weird how everything seems obscure when I am in desperate need of an answer and everything becomes conspicuous afterwards. While things make me go mad at people, I end up shouting or conveying my thoughts in sheer anger. Well that has forced me to pay big time. I know that and yet it keeps on happening. What can I say? I have a quick temper.

           Now as I try hard to fight it I am compelled to face situations wherein my patience gets hammered every now and then. There are moments when I have to shut my mouth in order to eschew things from getting ugly. While my opponent hardly cares to contemplate the reason behind the mute act and rejuvenates on his victory I rarely consider it as a debacle. 

           Maybe I should’ve placed ‘controlling my temper’ in the New Year’s resolution in order to fight it. Or maybe I should begin listening to what others have to say and shun the habit of retorting strongly or yelling at people. That might help, I surmise. 

“I.......er..........beg to differ!”

(With a frown) Now who was that?

Pathos

It is pathetic how man has become an animal worse than any other species out there. In a most shocking video, a recent event, I saw a leopard being seriously beaten with sticks by a group of villagers. The poor leopard could only raise its paws while its head received innumerable blows by the bludgeons that those ignorant villagers showered on it. So pitiful was the scene that it would have caused any normal being with a soul to stop the act. But the stupid stern villagers continued without caring to look that they had already incapacitated the poor animal. They clubbed the leopard mercilessly even when they knew that the animal was dead.
                As I brood now, there were probably a million solutions for capturing the animal unharmed. However one could argue that they didn’t have so much time to think as it might’ve hurt anyone. We must not forget that animals are afraid of humans. If there is a mob on a hunt then not a single predator would endeavour to defy the humans. It would go for the run because it knows that man is a more paranoid being than any other. When you lie on the safer side then what harm possibly, could you surmise, it could cause?
                   I am pretty sure they hunted the poor animal just for the fact that it might hurt someone and not for the fact that it ‘did hurt’ someone. Man wants to live in the safer part of the town. He slays every other being who intimidates him. He doesn’t want to take any chances. He goes for the kill every now and then. He attacks everything that looks ugly. He doesn’t want to think that the creature he attacked had a soul and a weeping heart which he shut down forever.
                  We’ll never learn. We are so ardent and stupid. We bask in the glory of the nature. We rejoice for the fact we are humans. We shout as we are not mute. We qualify as we are the bravest still we are not humble. While man has the ability to manifest his wrath he makes the most of it. He does it for sport, he does it for the fun of it and he doesn’t give a damn about how ugly things could go.
                  With thousands of flicks manifesting the serious issue, while thousands of books like Rudyard Kipling’s ‘The jungle book’ and many more point in the very direction, yet we pretend to be blind.
While ‘The Jungle Book’ portrayed how the animals were so much afraid of the humans, taking extra precaution every minute, not letting any of their kind to drift away in the direction of the villagers, we sat back relaxed and enjoyed it all. We grinned at it - the fear we had created, the intimidation and at our savage behaviour. Strange! Yet we call ‘them’ wild.
                  Pity our fate when we get clobbered by the calamitous wrath of the nature. And every other day when such a thing happens we don’t say that it was bound to happen but we say how evil of Lord to punish us so badly. While we overlook our misdeeds every day and accuse Him for everything we could, instead, apprehend the miscreants at the scene of crime. But alas! We can’t do that, now can we? Such acts are known as misdemeanours and not a crime in our dictionary. When half of the world considers such a thing to be morally ‘right’ we cannot metamorphose it as a rule.
                  We know the answers to everything, we have the solution for everything in this age and yet we claim to be ignorant when fingers are raised at us. We don’t like to be blamed and so we blame others. We are too dumb to speak and too deaf to listen. We are busy (or do we pretend?) in our own meaningless lives while forgetting how nature impregnated us and how we reciprocated that affection with a kick in its groin.

                     The question is - did we learn anything at all?

                  While my compassion eyed me with impotency all I could do was pen down the sorry event and ask for forgiveness on behalf of every soul on this planet. As the bludgeons sucked on to the life of the poor creature, I felt it was a soul-stirring moment for not only me but for everyone who watched it.

Lil' knowledge's a dangerous thing !!!

Little knowledge is a dangerous thing !! but a cipher in the subject is worse !!


I know the above maxim's true. Not only that I've also experienced it 'live'. There was this time when I showed up my ass at a viva session I didn't have any idea about. I hardly cared what the subject was. All I knew was that I had to impress the teacher somehow in order to get through. It was back in those days when I was trying to put two swords in a sheath by trying out my luck at AIEEE as well as cocking a snook at the textile engg. branch of MS university in Baroda wherein I had decided to try my luck out. My interest had gradually waned in MSU so I decided to give it a green signal while concentrating on the entrance exam more.

I showed up once during the viva of Civil out of the blue. Quite obviously I had no clue as I had never touched the book even. So I stood in the queue waiting for my turn carefree as I've never been, talking to strangers, making new friends, hardly caring for the tension that I should've taken otherwise. I knew during my earlier classes in the college that most of the teachers there were pretty lame in English. I wanted to take an advantage of their ignorance but I wasn't quite aware of the fact that the person who was questioning the students was actually a veteran in the field and a fluent nerd as well. When my turn came I decided to impress the faculty with a good interactive session with him. I decided to take the long route in answering his questions thus desiring to kill some time.

So when the first question popped up: What is dumpy level? (A piece of cake for the bookworms but hey not for me!)

My confident looks might've duped him for a second.... so I surmised .... when I began to make faces that would fool the most sturdy soul on the planet........ then ended up saying -

"Actually Sir, I am pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to answer that question of yours!"

The guy stared at me with a 'You are impossible' look of his and shouted at me, "If you don’t know the answer simply say I don't know!"

I at once corrected myself, "I meant, Sir... er ... I don't know!"

The next few words were his (naturally) which entailed him cursing me, swearing me like hell while I moved uncomfortably hither and thither on my chair.
Damn! Those words were harsh .............

A few more questions were answered with the assistance of the cliché offered by him (I don't know) and after that I was literally kicked out of the room.
When I stepped out I brushed myself and I swear I heard myself saying, "Well, That went well!"

While I brooded on how the entire Viva session went, I had an epiphany!

I realized I can't continue like that.... I could have at least seen the book for once but boy I was a busy guy back then. Rowing two boats at the same time is a Herculean task itself. So I decided to drop it off once and for all. I gave up MSU the very next day and decided to put some of the eggs in the empty egg cups I had.

Well that was quite an epiphany eh !

It was a mind-boggling, straight from hell experience for me and a day I can't probably forget for the fun of it! (:P)

Games messing with reality

It feels strange to find out how I am a sucker for games. Leisure is all I can think of when I’m put in front of a console. No matter how worse the situations get, ‘just a sec’ has always been my response to those who interfere.

One bizarre thing is that I never leave a game unfinished. If I leave something halfway all that pesters me the whole day long is the fact that I wasn’t able to finish what I had started. So I always rush back to finish my unfinished business.

Another weirdo is the fact that once I finish a game (and mind it I do) I watch the entire credits part as if it were a 'public' applauding my bravado. I drool over it and then hum its music for the rest of the day. I high-five the air when nobody’s around (or you’d think I am nuts), sometimes show my pals who the ‘real’ boss is, howl at them with crazy game talks, eye them with “Who’s your Daddy?” looks and show my buddies who’s the real boss and then show my buddies who the real boss is.......Wait did I say that already? No wonder the list is long!

Now surreal does not have its limits. All I can see for days are the characters of the games moving around with me in real. Like when I played all the shooting games like Rainbow Six and Call of duty, whenever I used to see a person standing far at a roof I used to have this strange feeling in my gut to snipe him down....... or whenever I saw a board, a wall or a tree something inside me shouted u gotta take cover bro! Funny eh!

Those crazy chess sessions had really got me bummed out when I wished every person to walk diagonally just like a camel or a queen in chess instead of walking straight while some games forced me to right click all the time (for defense) when somebody raised a hand to talk.

Now that’s called how games mess with reality eh!

A plan and the thing that follows .....

It is strange how you plan things to be and how different they turn out eventually. There is always someone messing with your plans out there and you don't have the slightest idea of who that might possibly be. While you would sit there cosily proposing things, there would be a counter-part to perfection with which you would be involuntarily related to and which would keep on disposing your lovely thoughts.

If you bring a little bit of negation with you and concoct something good thus ruling out or considering every bad possibility that might happen then there is a chance you might end up fulfilling your dream in the long run. No wonder we call that chance – mere ‘luck’. While people in the world are busy looking for things that might change their luck so as to whatever they plan would go according to their plan, they forget that they stand amongst their brethren ‘blockheads’ who are just like themselves. They believe in getting duped. They believe in getting conned.

To face the challenges that might pop up every now and then while working on a plan, it is necessary ‘to be prepared’. This is what everyone suggests. But you’ll be surprised to discover that all your premonitions were mere dust and all those possibilities you thought of earlier which were actually going to happen would not be sought after by ‘destiny’ to screw up your plan. The things which you never gave an eye or an ear to, would show up in the end thus ruining your plan altogether. Weird but true!