The void around me

Nowadays I can feel a peculiar void around me as if I am missing something, as if I am not paying attention to an important aspect of life, as if I am supposed to plunge into the ocean but I am afraid to take the leap of faith as I can’t swim. There is something missing in my life and I know it, yet I don’t want to take a shot. It all seems so stupid, so imbecile that I don’t want to fall into that abyss once again. While nature is trying its level best to make me feel the void, I am ready to take my chances and feel the difference without even calling it a day. 

I am glad that I am not prepared, albeit one day I want to be, to go for a blind shot one day yet I am patient as I don’t want to make myself one of  those guys. I don’t want to forget that I am different than the rest of the world and I have so far endeavoured to swim in the opposite direction of the flow. 

The void around me is full of silence. Silence aids me to think, to brood on my past deeds and blunders, to learn from my mistakes and so I am tidying up the road the one which I am treading on. I want to be squeaky-clean and yet I want to avenge the evil like a misanthrope without mercy in my soul, ready to take abuse but to blow the brains out of the people concerned with guilt.

I am glad that I’ve this void around me, away from the din of the city - my own personal vault that assists me to think rationally. If it wasn’t for it, I would have been pressurized to death. 

"If you are missing something there is always a keen wish to fulfill the desire and once it gets satiated there is no point running after it."

Hence I wish to keep it that way, to keep the fire burning and alive, undeterred by the delicacies of life. I am glad I don’t give in, every now and then, to the petty demands of my brain and don’t drift away (it is so easy to get drifted) but true bravery lies in the power to succumb every such notions that wear you off.